One Month

I realized several different things today. First of all, I found out that I will have an anxiety attack when graduation is only a month away. I was basically a mess for most of the day, although I'm not sure anyone else could really tell. I felt nauseous and just plain anxious. It was a really weird feeling and I hope I don't get it again. The whole thing was worsened when I went to a presentation for a company I'm interviewing with tomorrow and realized that not only am I not qualified for the job, I really wouldn't want to do it anyways. Plus, I don't want either of the next 2 jobs I'm interviewing for. I think one of the biggest issues is that I really don't want to move. I mean, I said I would relocate to NY or St. Louis, but as time gets closer I realize I don't really want to; I'm happy here. But, with that being said, I don't really have the option of being picky. The day finally brightened though when I met Nikki for ice cream and she told me her job issues and gave me a few words of comfort and a little advice. Plus, she said she thought she would be able to hook me up w/ an easy job that would pay the bills, if I needed something to get me by until I found a job.

Later tonight we decided to take our minds off of everything by drinking and playing darts. However, they weren't the electronic version and I quickly realized that my 5th grade math skills are severely lacking. I really think they should let kids play darts in school for math class. I also think my sad showing may have changed Nikki's opinion of my intelligence, but what can you do. And, as always, I didn't do very well at the actual game. O well, at least it was fun.