"Oh Captain, My Co-Captain!"

Alright, I’m normally a huge fan of soccer, but this “rec team” has gotten a little out of control. In the past four days, I have received no less than 11 emails and 1 phone call (this is the count so far… there is still 18 damn hours to go) from the team concerning tomorrow’s playoffs. Some of these emails were 2 pages long with detailed strategies that make absolutely no sense, some were filled with inspirational quotes from General Patton, and others still were specific ones to me pissed off b/c I said I didn’t know if I could make the games (b/c there will be 2 since we will WIN the first one). Although I’m sure no one cares, I’ve included a few of my favorite passages from the 2 captains (yes, I am that irritated):

From Sandy-- I am considering playing 6 defensive guys with 2 of our quick attackers. I am asking the offensive people how they can contribute. I think we have to go back to the basics of good defense and holding and containing the quick people. If we make a mistake on defense that is a goal if we make a mistake on the offense it’s another chance to try. (My thoughts--- we are slacking on defense b/c last game we used only 2 midfielders & both were girls, & as much as I’m all about girl equality, there is just no way in hell that I can out run a guy. Seriously, it’s not rocket science. And, who the hell has ever played w/ 6 defenders?)

From Rocco (this was quite possibly the best of all of them)--
Please be prepared! Load up on good carbs-hydrate prior to the game-and stretch before and after our first game. Please bring water-and a light snack-fruit-energy bar etc with you to the park. I highly recommend that you do not do heavy drinking the night before (This Means you Leo ( Please be at the park NO LATER THAN 3:30 to warm up-so leave your house at least at 2:30-there will be traffic. We will need everyone to contribute. In closing, this has been a great ride for our first season. But no matter the level in life-in sports, business, and or military-you must always do your best under every circumstance.

Walter Payton had two plaques over his locker for 13 Years that stated... "Do not assume there is a tomorrow..there is no tomorrow". "Play every game like it is your last." Team Glascott-On SATURDAY Let’s play like it is the last soccer game that we will ever play-and we will come home with a championship! Please respond to me as well if you will be at the game ASAP-

Sincerely, Your "OH Captain My Co-Captain!"
RS

Can I just mention at this point that RS has almost been thrown out of the last 3 games b/c of fighting and un-sportsman-like conduct. This is a RECREATIONAL soccer team; it is the bottom of the barrel folks. If these people care so much, they should be playing competitively. I honestly signed up for this thinking that these people would be cool to hang out with and might actually have f un. God was I wrong. Now I now I should be more dedicated, but I seriously wasn’t expecting this. There were also several emails in there inviting people to a spaghetti dinner tonight to carbo load. However, tonight’s final email was informing me that they would have to forfeit without me tomorrow, and it would be all my fault. In all honesty, I could make the first game. But, I’m tempted to just not show up, just to piss off this Rocco character.