Asian Quotes

“Are you going to buy a Japanese school girl outfit?” – Kavita’s friend

“Why do my hands smell like coins?” – Caroline

“I dare you to go into the bathroom. The men’s bathroom” – Garnick

“Garnick looks like Hugh Grant in his passport.” “Really? Does he want to hook up?” – Craig & Caroline

“I snuck a Yoo-hoo through security” – Marcy hopped up on Ambien

“Garnick is going to be a big homo by the time I’m done with him!” – Andrew

“And hanging right next to the yogurt was a dead yak!” Caroline looking for fake purses in a Beijing grocery store

“Don’t joke me! I don’t joke you!” – Crazy Chinese sales clerk

“I have a canker sore” “Like a herpe?” “Yeah” “Yeah, my teeth were pretty gross yesterday” “Mine had like shag carpeting on them” – Deb & Caroline

“Here is the Emperor’s office?” “Do you think it has wireless?” – Andrew & Amanda Fang at the Forbidden City

“Lubriderm…that’s my favorite kind of lotion” “Yeah, except there’s no bathroom around to use it!” – Alex & Craig

“When in Rome…eat Italian!” – Andrew et all eating at an Italian restaurant the first night in China

“The people in the back look darker in this picture” “Well, I am pretty tan” – Kristen & un-tan Marcy commenting on a photograph

“He looks like he has cold water!” “Yeah that he filled up from his bathtub…” Kristen and Caroline looking for bottled water at The Great Wall

“I see the blonde!” “Quick! Duck!” Marcy and Caroline hiding from the part timers

“Deb, I dare you to smell my armpit” – Alex to Deb

“I can check my e-mail, get my butt rubbed and eat pizza all at the same time and for only $2!!!!!!!!” – Caroline about the Rendezvous Merry in Shanghai

“That woman is eating out of a baggie” “Hahahahahahaha” “I don’t want people to see what I do in my car” “I don’t know what that means” “I don’t either, but I bet I eat out of baggies” – Deb & Caroline on the bus in Shanghai

“It’s like we just got out of jail” “Yeah, Beijing jail…” – Marce & Care eating their first breakfast in Shanghai

“Alex, do you feel cramped all the time?” “I actually feel most cramped in the genital area. My underwear isn’t big enough” – Deb & Alex on the bus

“That dress fabric is my favorite schematic print. Greens.” – Andrew commenting on Kavita’s dress

“The Schaumburg of Shanghai” – Kristen on Grainger

“Why do all the babies here wear ass-less chaps?” – Kristen

“This place is one gi-normous Benetton commercial!” – Kristen on Bar Rouge

“Did we make out last night?” “I think I would remember that for so many reasons….” – Caroline & Andrew after Bar Rouge

“I mean, China wants to be all Western, so they speak English. Japan is like; we made Sony bitches, speak Japanese!” – Andrew on Tokyo

"Deb, we're not in a church, so let's not act like it. Let's have a little respect for the people shopping here." - Andrew on the fifth floor of a Tokyo porn shop

"Logic wins the day." - Donkeyface

"I'm not doing a sake bomb. I think that might be a little disrespectful." - Sean

"Oh, please, Sean. When in Rome, act like an American asshole." - Kristin

"Evelyn is quite probing." - Craig

"Evelyn, you're boy crazy." - Craig