27 Dresses

How is it that something as wonderful as a wedding can also be such a pain in the ass?

Recently I've been making a large effort to become more fiscally responsible, and I've realized what no one teaches is you is how to save for all of your friends weddings. Seriously. Next weekend marks my first wedding for 2009, and it will basically be followed by one a month until October (I think that's when Brittany said hers would be). And then there is the added stress of being in the wedding. The dress, the shoes, the hair, and all the other fun details involved – which brings me to my actual topic of Julie's bridesmaid dresses.

Julie made every attempt to make the bridesmaid dress as painless as possible and, yet, it hasn't seemed to work. When we first ordered the dresses there was literally 10 emails a day going back and forth about the color and style and who was ordering what. In the end, Jess, Hill and I all got the exact same dress and the other 3 each have a different style.

Our dresses came in a month ago and we learned that even though we were all measured and the dresses were each made individually, they were all made for someone with at least a D cup.

And now begins the hunt for the perfect tailor – and by perfect I mean someone who can get the dress to stay up without costing me a fortune. I thought about going to the same place as Hillary's but was hoping I could find someone a little closer and hopefully less questionable & dramatic. So I looked on yelp and called 2 with good reviews only to learn they had decided to quit doing bridesmaid dresses. Finally I found one near me that seemed like it would work well. The fitting went off without a hitch, but then she told me it was going to be $130.

Hmm… $130 was definitely more than I wanted to spend. In fact, 100 was pretty much my limit. After verifying that Hillary's tailor quoted $75 for both the bust and length, I decided to just take it there.

I have to say that I think my initial experience went much smoother than Hill's (after I realized that I have to make an appointment). When I went in for the fitting, I spent a good 20 minutes watching a cute guy try on 5 suits that the tailor resized for him, which increased my confidence of the tailor's ability tremendously.

So my fitting begins and he starts pinning me everywhere. As he's working on the second side, I notice that it seems a bit tight, and bring that to his attention. In his thick Russian accent he says, " you think this is too tight? No, this is good. It's better to be too tight than too loose."

O, yes, I guess that's true… well, really I think I'd rather it not be too tight or too loose, but you are the professional so what do I know.

After that he points out how my boobs look pointy, but that there really isn't anything he can do about it. O, well thanks for pointing that out then so that will be what I always notice first in the dress. Then he points out how my hips look wide in the dress and would I like him to take that in. So not only will my boobs be pointy, but now I have big hips. Awesome.

"Um, I think I'm fine with the hip area the way it is."

"Ok. You're friend didn't want that done either. But, I like to point these things out you know so that you can have the best possible dress." Gee, thanks. To borrow Hillary's words, I'm not the bride, I just need it to stay up.

So, this event wraps up with little more ado and he fills out my ticket. $95 for everything. 95 huh, ok well that must include the pressing then because I believe Hill told me that was an extra $20. Well it's under the $100 mark, so great.

Two weeks later, it's time to pick up the dress and I'm a little apprehensive for some reason.

Try the dress on – o the reason is because it doesn't fit. I walk out to have the Mexican lady help me zip it up, and as she's doing so I tell her it doesn't fit. She says "it doesn't fit? No look, I got it to fit."

"You haven't hooked it yet and I can barely breathe."

After a little struggling, she manages to get it hooked. So, I walk over to the mirror to see the result. The result is that I have "big hips," "pointy boobs," and now I look fat because my skin is rolling over the top. Perfect. And, while I'm standing there the hook breaks. At least that was enough to convince them that it was indeed too tight.

After changing back to my normal clothes I decide to broach the subject of why my dress hasn't been pressed since I was assumedly going to be picking it up that day. She informs me that is an extra $15, which I in turn argued about and left with her promise to have the tailor call me.

The next day he calls me to discuss the pricing situation and I explained that if pressing is not included, then he quoted me and my friend two different prices for the same work. He argued that we had different work done, too which I restated that he quoted her though on the same work and that is the reason I went there. He got angry and said he didn't appreciate me accusing him of running a crappy business and if it would make me happy then they would steam it for free. Ok, great – that would make me happy. Then we discussed that he needs to let it out a half inch and he mentioned that maybe I have gain weight.

While gaining weight is always a possibility, I did not go up a half of an inch in 2 weeks. And, I certainly did not go up a half of an inch in my boobs, even though this is something I prayed about nearly every night for the better part of my high school. (I'm just saying…)

After overhearing this entire conversation, Sam comments "you know, I'm not sure why this truly just suck in, but this shit really only does happened to you. And, it's not like you're the cause of it – it just happens to you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Saturday I picked up the final version and it fits perfectly. And, now that it's the correct size, I don't think the boobs look pointy or my hips big. And, it was pressed for "free." So, I guess it's as the saying goes, all is well that ends well. Plus, I've talked to Mandy (the bride's sister) and her ordeal ended up being far worse than mine – she doesn't get her dress back until Wednesday so hopefully it works!