What are the odds?

What are the odds that my sister would be one of the several thousand people in the US to have the swine flu? I'm sure the statistical odds aren't very good, but if you factor in that it's Becca I imagine the odds at least triple. Here is her email from earlier this week: "so as it turns out, the teacher whose classroom is right next door to me and also got really sick starting the weekend of labor day had swine flu. her test results came back today. i only wish that i could have gone to the doctor myself to prove once and for all that i also had it. at least everyone at work believes me." Personally, I believe that she probably contracted this just to top my recent allergy diagnosis.

What are the odds that my house would be robbed? What are the odds that we would be robbed if my idiot roommate leaves the backdoor wide-open for four hours while no one is home? Considering Paul's grill was stolen last week; people have tried to break into Paul's house; we've had our tires slashed; and Mike's bike was stolen I feel like the odds are actually pretty high. When I write all of that out for one year it really kind of sounds like we live in a bad neighborhood. O well, at least we weren't robbed last night. And, hopefully Mike understands that I do not want the door left open again.

What are the odds that Becca's boyfriend, Ashley, would randomly run into Katie Friday at a bar in Chicago? Better question is what are the odds that he would actually talk to her long enough to learn that she was from Rochester and knows us? I'm assuming that once again the odds are extremely high. Also, what are the odds that Katie would've looked at renting my apartment (the first one with Kate) when she first moved to Chicago? I'd actually already heard this from Darcy (I think), but I don't think I knew Katie was to be her roommate. I suppose both of these instances just give more weight to the It's a small world after all phrase.

short skirts and a long jacket

Becca requested that I link to her post about skirts because she is desperately seeking advice (not that anyone really reads this either). Anyone, check it out and let her know what you think.

Winter Woes from Becca

Last weekend I had to travel to Atlanta for work. While I was not extremely excited to go to this meeting (many reasons here), I was extremely excited to get out of the brutally cold weather (although even Atlanta was 12 degrees on that Friday). While I was away, Becca sent me a detailed account of her day...


pretty much what happened was i had to go to a meeting on friday for work on mandated reporting (dcfs type stuff) at another church school.

so i wake up. tired and groggy, as always fearing the ferocious cold that will bite me once I get outside, and I walk into the bathroom to brush my teeth. Roughly one half of a drop of a water comes out of the faucet, so I crank both knobs to their full force. this time approximately 1/4 of a drop of water comes out of the faucet. i think to myself, "this is probably a big issue that i need to tell victor about." but then i think about how he's been an asshole lately, and i pray that a water mane has gone out and that the issue will be resolved by the time i get back from my meeting. i swish some generic listerine around in my mouth instead of brushing and then bleach wipe the sink so that it doesnt look like the hulk has recently done any business there.

i get dressed, carefully placing double layers of long underwear as to prepare for the coldest day in 10 years (which according to weather.com, was actually colder in chicago than the south pole that day).

before i can leave to go to work on time, i get a phone call from paul. apparently he has no running water either. great. he happens to catch me outside before i leave and now i have to run inside and turn all the faucets slightly on for the plumber. now im late to this meeting...

my hands by this point (having spent roughly 8.5 minutes outside wearing my ski gloves) are completely frozen to the point that I cannot properly steer my car. However, i am late, and cannot wait, so drive i must. gps has problems with giving directions if i have to make two turns right after each other, so i ended up getting lost with my gps. about five minutes later, gps figures out where i am, and i make it back. i turn into the parking lot, only to discover that i would be blocking someone if i parked, and it takes me another titulating 10 minutes to back out of the parking lot because everyone else has managed to make their own parking spots. i find parking on the street and once again my hands are frozen solid.

i walk into the meeting and the speaker calls me and three other people out on being "obnoxiously late" -her words not mine. she then proceeds to tell me that if i don't move to a seat closer to the front i can "attend another meeting in the spring when it is warmer outside". i go up one row and sit next to my assistant principal and religion teacher. the religion teacher, whispers under her breath that the speaker is a bitch. and she was... for the next two hours, we listen to some lady gallyhoot about her opinions and stereotypes. fortunately for us, she is from the south side and the only two areas that she speaks at are the south and west side because, no offense, she doesn't like to deal with the yuppy catholic schools. as a real plot twister, the english teacher at our school, pulls out a reporter's notebook and proceeds to write down every inappropriate thing the lady says. she has since written a letter to the archdiocese about this. (and no, i am actually not the english teacher i teach reading. however, i always admire someone who isn't afraid to pull out a reporter's notebook when the time calls for it)

after the meeting, i manage to get home pretty easily, with the exception that my fingers remained yellow for about 45 minutes. there is still no water in the house, and mike informs me that he took a shit in the toilet, and he can't get it to flush. note: he knew about the situation, but i guess he was in a bit of a predicament i tell him to use the water from the brita water pitcher to get it to flush. he tells me that was what he was planning on using to wash his hands. note: haven't used the water pitcher since.

after spending an hour packing to go to Ashley's, i decide to start on my trek of taking out three bags of garbage. i manage to get the first bag out pretty safely, but when it comes to bag number 2, i slip on the mountain of snow on the steps and end up sliding the rest of the way down, bumping my tailbone on roughly 5 or 6 stairs. at this, i burst in immediate tears, and the garbage man who happens to be there at this moment in time, helps me up and brushes the garbage off of my coat and pants. he is the true protagonist of this saga, as he takes it upon himself to clean up the rest of the mess covering teh snow. he even volunteers to take any other garbage that i might have from my house, but i tell him not to worry about it. over a week later, the last garbage bag is still in the house untouched...

i go inside and hunt for a bottle of advil. at some point (im guessing during my stint of unemployment last year) i oddly purchased a generic bottle of advil. for minutes i try to align the arrows and pop the top off. the only thing that comes off, though, is my fingernail from this pathetic attempt. i find a bottle of advil from deb's room and take some of that.

i get an update from paul. apparently the pipes froze int eh house. why wouldn't it when it's literally -38 outside. just what he needs is another flood in his apt (this would be the third time this year for him).

before i depart on my 2 hour journey to ashley's house (it's a friday so anticipated traffic is not good), i decide i really need to pee. after judging the risk of peaking at the toilet, i decide to check and see if mike has managed to flush. ....not so lucky...

i drive to the walgreens to pick up some advil, and wait in line for about 15 minutes. their bathroom is out of order. i decide to just give up and leave to go to Antioch. surprisingly, traffic wasn't all that bad, and the rest of my day went by pretty uneventful. i guess the glooming shadow of darkness that every once in a while haunts me doesn't travel past cook county.

Becca - ever the performer

Check out this video: Becca the Performer

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The Happy Song

Well this weekend marked me officially getting older. Little Becca graduated and I turned another year older. For those that couldn't be there, I'll share a few of the highlights.

• The towels - last Tuesday I finally reached my breaking point with the towels and decided to write Laurel a note asking her not to use them. Of course she called me several hours later (when she finally awoke) to deny any allegations. Obviously, her suggestions were ridiculous, but I figured drawing it to her attention would be enough to make it stop. L decides to bring up this whole conversation while we were out Thursday night. L suggested that my towels were getting bleached by residue left in the washer. Being that I was a little drunk, I told her this wasn't possible b/c nothing else gets bleached. Kristie jumps in at this point to "helpfully" inform me that towels are ore porous and therefore more likely to absorb bleach than my clothes would be. Obviously she was being sarcastic, but L missed this and thanked K for her helpful comment. I retored that no one uses bleach in the house. This kept the conversation going for another 5 minutes, and it was only ended when K solved the mystery by stating that "all of the towels must be from a faulty batch..." Whatever.
• The birthday celebrations ended with yet another night at El Presidente. However, this time we were joined by our cabbie. I know what you're thinking and this was not my idea; it was Jeanna's. It was, however, my idea to leave the restaurant after eating 5 bowls of salsa b/c our food was taking too long. I wonder if the workers there recognize us - we honestly have some ridiculous incident nearly every time we visit.
• My mom didn't bother to get directions to the hotel. She just assumed that it was on the main strip.
• Becca's graduation gown was huge, but it made her look like an angel. Also, the damn zipper broke 20 minutes before the ceremony (if you can call it a ceremony).
• They left off that Becca was graduating magna cum laude, which pissed her off to no end simply because she wanted some snobbish girl in her program to see that she did better than her. So, she marched around in her angel wings until convinced someone to read the honor with her name. Nice Becca, nice.
  
• When my grandmother showed up she informed me that her long time friend happened to be in the hotel room next to them and she was just certain that the "snobby girl" was her friends daughter. Never quite figured out if this was true or not.
  
• My job for the ceremony was to get Becca there in one piece (b/c we all know how frantic she can get) and to save seats for the rest of the family who do well enough to simply get there in one piece. Thankfully though, there was one young adult per old adult. (Side note: my Grandpa has pretty severe Alzheimer and seldom knows what is going on.) Anyway, I begin fidgeting in my seat shortly after everyone sits down. So, Grandpa turns to me and says "are you going to fidget the whole time?" I said, "well I might... these seats are simply too close together." He pauses for a moment and then says, "well, why didn't you get more seats - that was your one job today." Fair point Gramps. Fair point.
• Half way through the "ceremony" a baby starts crying. Gramps turns to me and says, "a baby is crying... and I don't blame him. Shortly there after he says "you know, I really like Chicago's better. They treat you like a king up there - giving you champagne and crackers." How in God's name this man remembered my NU graduation but can't remember my name, I'll never know.
• The family left shortly after lunch and then we took a long nap. For dinner we decided to go to some Japanese steakhouse, which was an excellent choice. The theme here was that they cooked the food right in front of you and your sat at a table with strangers. By the end of dinner, our fellow diners were no longer strangers. We were sharing beer suggestions and drinking stories. And then our waitress brought out 4 cakes and sang the "Happy Song" to everyone who was celebrating birthdays or graduations.
  

So, I have a lot to write, but I've honestly been too busy - hopefully in the next couple of days. Actually, I've been so busy that last week Becca called Hillary to find out why I was ignoring her and Nikki finally sent me an email asking if I was mad at her. I suppose people aren't used to the idea of me actuall working ;-)

Anyway, here is a brief email from Becca (the Bubble girl):
so because of my allergies ive been told by the dermatologist that my eyes look like they're 32 not 22. so i bought some oil of olay (only the generic) regenerist eye serum and i really like it. im going to look 12 again before you know it

Quote of the Weekend

From Becca:

Bill and Mom insist that I drive the U-Haul (which is about the most stupid idea I've ever heard). After I attempt to parallel park it along a street, Bill flings open the passenger door faster than Roxie steals a hamburger from my plate. I tell him to be careful-that he might get hit by a car. And that is when mom says, "Oh he'd just bounce right off a car. He'd probably dent the car more than the car would dent him."

Wisdom from the Beasts

has anyone ever told you that animals are smarter than humans? well I think there may be some truth to this. Today's second life lesson comes from a female Welsch Corgi from Carbondale, Illinois named Roxie. Today I was observing Roxeanne doing her morning stretches when I realized, "Hey I don't even stretch every day, but my dog does!" While I've heard for years that everyone needs to do at least five minutes of stretching every day, very rarely do I actually take part in this activity. I give a bunch of excuses, most of which fall into some "I don't have time" category, which is pretty darn stupid but whatever. However, after watching Roxie today I think I am inspired to become a 'new human.' If my dog's instincts tell her to do it every day, then I certainly should too.

think you're smart?

this test is commonly given to sixth graders. see if you can get all the answers correct without looking at the answer sheet.

Did you know

• There are 648,864 people in the U.S. with the first name Rebecca.
• Statistically the 73rd most popular first name.
• More than 99.9 percent of people with the first name Rebecca are female.
• Names similar to Rebecca:
  • Becki
  • Beckie
  • Becky
  • Reba

I guess I am so original that no one else in the country has the name Becca

• There are 12,344 people in the U.S. with the last name Westfall.
• Statistically the 3002nd most popular last name.

(and I'm thinking Jesse James is not included)

There are 27 people in the U.S. named Rebecca Westfall.

a Typical Day at the Westfall Manor

Young, bright and beautiful Rebecca sits at the living room desk focused intently on a writing assignment for her English 485 class. All of a sudden, something outrageously strange interrupts her work. From the kitchen rises a cackle: high pitched, nearly squeeching. It sounds almost like a witch laughing cooly as she stirs a pot of little boy and girl stew. Rebecca pauses for a minute, looks at her fat hamster of a dog who wakes from her nap to cock one ear up for listening. The two exchange boring glances and shrug. Oh, it's just Bill.

Rebecca yawns and starts typing again. Roxie goes back to her 12 hour nap. Then, from the next room another voice carries. "Hee hee hee I've never vacuumed a REAL person before!!" Rebecca and Lady Roxeanna look at each other, and this time decide that they must travel into the kitchen to investigate. No matter how frightening the image that greets them may be, they must take a risk. After all, it could make for a good story.

(to be continued)

Skiing to the white...

I have a feeling the next month is going to bring about a lot of changes. And while it is sometimes hard to live in the "unknown," I'm actually somehow okay everything. I've always been one to make fairly impulsive decisions, and I guess that leaves me open to a lot of possibilities. I've also been reading "The Secret" based on Oprah's reccomendation (plus Jen has been talking about it), and I actually think it has reconvinced me that everything honestly happens for a reason. And, to have faith that everything will work out. Honestly, I'm surprised I'm reading this. I usually don't go in for all of this, which I think is really out of rebellion against my mother.

And back to what is actually going on in my life... Last weekend was really nice, aside from the weather. Becca came up to visit and we ended up going skiing on Saturday. The skiing was awesome and well worth the trip. However, the drive home was not. What should have been a three hour easy car ride turned into a 4.5 hour disaster thanks to the blizzard. That was honestly the worst weather I have ever driven in. there were times when I really thought I would have to pull over, but by that point we were already past Rockford and I saw no point. O well, we made it safe and sound. O, and Becca was so nice she brought me Quatros!

And We Thought We Had Said Goodbye

From Becca-

Does anyone remember Netscape? Way before Internet Explorer and that crazy Firefox this was THE internet program everyone used. Back in the day Netscape was as jivey as let's say...Windows 95. As a fifth grader I can fondly recall being impressed if not astounded at how a machine could make stars dance over a capital "N" so artistically.

Sadly, as technology changed, Netscape started becoming outdated, and even I grew less and less touched by the browser's graphics. Eventually, we all said goodbye to Netscape. Or so we thought...

Today somewhere between attempting to stay awake and not stabbing myself in the eye with a red ink pen, my gaze shifted toward my cooperating teacher's computer screen where she was yelling near obscenities (Ooo dangit it ain't sh-sh- this ai-isn't suhpposed ta be hap'nin). She was having trouble getting her email to load. I walked over to see if I could assist her, and to much shock and dismay, I was greeted with, that's right, the capital N. After spending five minutes standing with my arms crossed pretending not to see the giant E tatooed on the bottom of the screen (all the while the stars propelling at a super obnoxious rate), I casually mentioned maybe she would be able to open her account in I don't know, say Explorer or Firefox. To which my CT told me she found explorer "too difficult" to work with, and she just doesn't like trying new things (which is a good statement coming from a HS English teacher). She then got a weird look on her face and asked, and I am not joking, "Fireanimal what, that sounds like the name of a perfume?" (yeah maybe a perfume from Walmart).

...I have said it once, I'll say it a thousand times. This town may only be 40 minutes from Carbondale but it is an entirely different WORLD maybe GALAXY that I'm not sure even Netscape's N can get to quickly.

While I do not have anything against perfume that comes from Walmart or people from the South, I tell this story just to illustrate the sort of things I encounter every day during my observation. I can overlook the fact that the English teacher uses the word "aint"-I find it much harder to ignore that she teaches firstsearch (for research papers) to students on Netscape because she is unwilling to change technology according to the appropriate decade that she is living in. These kids are seriously getting screwed over.

Mullets, Marriages, and Major Rednecks

From Becca...

well if it's one thing i learned today it's that these three things go hand in hand with each other. this was my first day observing at the high school of the grand old towns of anna and jonesboro-yes these towns are so small that they share a school (im not sure but vienna may be included as well). and i can't help but feel that im living in Opposite World from Deborah. wherever she is on a given day, whatever she is doing, chances are that i am on the exact end of the spectrum, doing something completely opposite i.e. she grabs a seat on the el between two homeless people, i park my car between two pickup trucks with confederate flag stickers on the back windshield (this actually happened today). i tell my cooperating teacher that im 21 and she directly follows that statement with the question, "Are you married?" when i say no (trying to stifle my laughter) she then proceeds to ask me if im engaged or have any children. gotta love the small town mentality. the last question she asks me is whether or not i like rats, which was pretty odd until i found out that she has two caged rats in the classroom. with all this being said, she is very nice and i must say i am much less intimidated working at this school than i was at carbondale for obvious reasons.

p.s. i also broke the doorknob off of my teacher's door today (which apparently happens all the time) it was pretty funny.

p.s.s. i will give extra credit to anyone who can guess what people claim A.N.N.A. stands for. if corey still reads this blog she'll probably know

Thanksgiving Break

A word from Becca (since she no longer bothers to write on her blog):
people have asked me before how deborah and i got close and i have always told them bonding over hating/making fun of our family. to which they have often replied,"how does that work?" and then i say, "well, have u ever met our family?" i used to think we'd eventually grow out of this 'bonding', but as it turns out some things never get old. in fact now instead of directly calling out family members on their oddities, we just seclude ourselves in her bedroom and spend 45 mins to an hour getting off all the daily annoyances and interractions off our chest. speaking of which how many more minutes are we going to be able to stay in here before they knock on the door again. i love how they know that they are not welcome, and they never actually opened the door-they just keep knocking. i really think i would have gone crazy years ago if it werent for having someone else in this family who i can complain to.

As for me, break was rather mild this year. There was no real drama among friends or family. As far as the family goes, I guess we're all starting to get used to each other. Except, I honestly still can't stand Bill (mom's boyfriend) or his daughter Kara. They're just so annoying. I think it would all be alot better if he just accepted the fact that Becca and I are brats and that he doesn't need to be our friend... or maybe that we would respond better if he didn't act fake and try to be cool. O well, apparently I need to accept him too since it seems he's going to be around. I'm just waiting on that engagement.

As for friends, it was really nice to see everyone (except Dow of course). The craziest part of the break for me was watching someone I've previously hooked up with nearly get arrested from the Burrito place at 4 am Wednesday night. Got to love the small towns.

Halloween Shenanigans

Last night I was a referee. And this morning I woke up as a doctor. I really don't know what happened. And, I don't have my coat or purse. I don't really remember anything after Kate & Kate left, which was about an hour before I got home. And no one can really fill me in... we are a fine crew. Kate wins the sober award and I feel awful that she has to deal w/ everyone. Jen says she doesn't remember from the point Kate left either, and Nikki says that she lost me around that time (and even though she remembers she ended up puking at the bar). I pissed Becca off at the bar so she went home and then proceeded to puke everywhere, including my room. Kate Robuck has now puked three times today, so Kate is going to the store to get her saltines and pedialite. Hearing her puke is starting to make me sick, but I'm hoping I can push through. Trisha and Jen seem to be ok though, because they're heading to Kendals to watch the Bengals (the thought of that right now is disgusting).

Moral of the story: All you can drink parties with top shelf liquor is a horrible idea. Being football players is an awesome Halloween costume for girls... you meet tons of menz.

On another note, how about those Cardinals!!! I can't believe they won. I really wish I could've made it to St. Louis today to watch the parade. O well, maybe in my next life. I think the best part is that all year long the only games I got to watch were the ones where they played like shit against the Chicago teams and then I would get pissy and bitch about them and my friends would tell me to get over it b/c their team sucked this year. Obviously everyone was wrong!

The Forger

Somewhere around junior high or high school, Becca learned to write like my mother. She's actually quite good at it, and if she trys hard, I really can't tell the difference. I'm sure that skill came in handy for her during school. As for today, she uses it merely for her entertainment. Being that Becca loves to write, I periodically get letters from her where she pretends to be mom. Sadly enough, I fail to tell the difference. My mom is odd enough, as most of you know, that these letters legitimately seem like they could be from her. It isn't until later that Becca will finally admit to sending the letter. Now that I'm thinking back, I wonder how many letters she has sent that I didn't realize were really from her? Maybe my mom never really sends me any. Maybe it's always Becca. Actually, my mom really did send me a letter yesterday, but the saddest part is I immediately assumed it was from Becca again, until I finally decided that she wouldn't have been able to write about it.

Go Cardinals!! I'm sad I didn't make it anywhere tonight. But, I did make dinner and I think it surprised everyone that I can cook.

Why Men Are Funny (in the words of Becca)

Seeing as how Becca has not updated her blog since the beginning of June, I'm assuming that she too is taking a summer hiatus. And as such, I've decided to post an email I received from her today.

Since moving in with the guys I have come to learn some things about men that I really never cared to know. I will refrain from writing about mysterious hairs or colon problems and stick to the subject of cleanliness. im starting to learn that a magazine and bookbag being thrown on the floor is unacceptable and entirely too messy, yet mold is allowed to grow freely in the toilet/shower and this is fine. Naturally this is not fine for me and I never even did so much as peed in the upstairs bathroom at seven in the morning when I woke up until a couple of days ago when ashley finally cleaned it. Their bathroom was so dirty that Ashley used a razor to tear off the old cocking (that had turned completely black) in the bathtub and then recocked the entire thing. That's right he recocked the entire shower. When I heard this news I (being a girl) reminded Ashley that he wouldn't have had to cock anything if he stopped thinking with his cock and just cleaned the damn shower once every 5 months. To which he replied that he preferred cocking every now and again to cleaning regularly.

O my little Becca

Poor Becca hasn’t updated her blog in quite sometime, so I think I will give everyone an update on her. Actually, I’m really doing it b/c I have been receiving at least one frantic phone call a day from her for the past week, all about this one situation. Becca has moved into an old house in Carbondale which isn’t horrible, but is definitely old. For the past several weeks she has been sick and was finally diagnosed with an allergic reaction. To what, the doctor wasn’t certain, but apparently the culprit is mold. Rebecca’s house is covered in mold, and it should come at no surprise that she is of course allergic to it. So, she is deathly sick, and either it needs it to be taken care of properly or she needs to move. After speaking with my mother, her landlord Clyde agreed to clean it up and have it inspected by some environmental company. However, he has since changed his mind and just decided to kill it with some bleach which I guess only gets rid of it for about 2 weeks or so. Anyway, she beside herself and was actually considering suing the man. The update today was that Clyde has several partners in his housing ventures, one of which is none other than Mr. Barrett Rochman (Jesse’s dad for those who don’t know). Thus, Becca initially called wanting to know if there was something I could do, to which I replied that there really wasn’t. As she was apparently told by Corey, you wouldn’t want to rent from Barrett. Honestly, I wouldn’t want to mess with Barrett or his companies in any way, and I’ve advised her to get out and not mess with it anymore.

As for me, I am just trying to find my way around town. I hate to admit it, but I am much worse at directions that I thought. I am fine with the el, but walking is a whole other situation. I’m beginning to hate it. Who needs to work out when you walk over an hour every day.

On a lighter note, Sunday I went to Farmaid at the Tweeter Center with Hillary. It was a pretty good time, but I could have done w/o the first 5 hours or so. They didn’t have anyone good play until about 5. Not to mention it was ridiculously hot. I think the highlight of my day was watching Hillary go get tobacco and actually use it. I don’t think she can ever give me shit for smoking, or at least not for awhile. O and I learned that I rather like Neil Young. Who kenw.

Jessica May is coming up tomorrow night for an interview Thursday. I think that Jess, Kate, Eric (Kate’s boyfriend) and I are all going to go out Thursday evening. Should be fun.

Becca's Away Message

so friday was a bad insect day for me and i got bit by about 8 or 9 mosquitoes. it goes without saying that im allergic to them, and two happened to swell to the size of golf balls. it is now monday nite and one of these bites has turned a yellowish greenish color and is about two inches big. janell (laughing) told me tonight that i might have been bit by a brown recluse spider and i should go to health services so that my skin doesn't rot off and i dont die. naturally this was followed by 10 mins of dramatic becca time. thereafter i called dial a nurse and she told me that my skin would be black if i had been bitten by a brown recluse. she told me to see somebody about the bite tomorrow, tho, cuz in her 20+ years as a nurse she said she's never heard of anything like that.

---

There are few people in this world that can justify their actions simply by being who they are. Whenever I tell a story that involves her, people invariably ask for an explanation. However, they always except the explanation of "it's Becca." Crazy as it may be, I still love her. In fact, for some reason it might make me love her more. It definitely makes me worry more, but I'm getting over that.