Thursday, September 17, 2009
Armed and Dangerous in Arlington Heights
I’m sure you’re wondering where I’m at and what exactly I mean by lockdown.
Why, I’m sitting in my lovely cubicle in lovely Arlington Heights, listening to the sound of choppers flying over head, of course.
Apparently today some bank robber overtook 2 armed police officers, stole both of their guns, took their clothes, and then made a break for it – in Arlington Heights. His first act of freedom was to steal a getaway car from the Meijer’s parking lot. His second act of freedom was to ditch said getaway car in a parking lot. The parking lot right next door to my building to be exact.
Needless to say the ever-quick cops were on the scene in moments. (Well, I have no idea how long it took them to get here, but I’m giving them a little boost here since 2 cops have already been given a bad rap in this story.) Right now there are about 9 police vehicles next door, all with extremely large weapons. There are 2 cops in our parking lot, and about 6 more in the apartment complex behind us.
Stay tuned folks for the latest breaking news. I don’t really see any TV vans (I’m guessing they’ve all been driven away), so I really might have the latest breaking news.
Sure am glad I decided to come into work this afternoon.
I emailed Dow with this story and he responded back with this, “Sadly…I might be able to match that. An employee of ours was fired two days ago and has apparently threatened to shoot up shoot up the place. The cops were here earlier and there is one stationed on our floor now. Crazies all over…”
Update (2:45): they now think he is in one of the apartment buildings behind us.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
The Untouchables
On Saturday a group of us decided to play tourist for the day and went on a Gangster Tour. The tour was pretty cool, but it was kind of hard to stay focused on the story since you were often looking at buildings that no longer existed. With that being said, there were some memorable highlights.
The bus driver asked us all if we wanted insurance when we got on in case anything bad were to happen. We had an odd number of people so Becca, Hill and I all squeezed into one seat. When the bus driver spotted this, Becca told him not to worry about it because we had bought the insurance.
A good portion of the trip was spent driving around Chicago from one location to another. At one point, they decided to play some Italian opera music to fill the void. And, the tour guide decided to dance up and down the aisle singing and playing a Barbi tambourine. We tried to get Becca to dance with him, but she didn't get up quickly enough.
As we're rolling through Lincoln Park after touring the St. Valentine's Day massacre, I happen to spot Kristie on the side of the street! So we all waved until we caught her attention, and then she started jumping up and down with excitement. The whole thought of someone walking out of a bar and spotting 5 of their friends randomly on a black school bus was absolutely hysterical. Hillary and I were laughing so hard we were crying. Needless to say, this was by far my favorite part of the day.
Sidenote: I really hope that my boss asks me tomorrow what I did this weekend. He already thinks I'm random as hell, and I think this will just be the icing on the cake.
Saturday, June 06, 2009
What are the odds?
What are the odds that my sister would be one of the several thousand people in the US to have the swine flu? I'm sure the statistical odds aren't very good, but if you factor in that it's Becca I imagine the odds at least triple. Here is her email from earlier this week: "so as it turns out, the teacher whose classroom is right next door to me and also got really sick starting the weekend of labor day had swine flu. her test results came back today. i only wish that i could have gone to the doctor myself to prove once and for all that i also had it. at least everyone at work believes me." Personally, I believe that she probably contracted this just to top my recent allergy diagnosis.
What are the odds that my house would be robbed? What are the odds that we would be robbed if my idiot roommate leaves the backdoor wide-open for four hours while no one is home? Considering Paul's grill was stolen last week; people have tried to break into Paul's house; we've had our tires slashed; and Mike's bike was stolen I feel like the odds are actually pretty high. When I write all of that out for one year it really kind of sounds like we live in a bad neighborhood. O well, at least we weren't robbed last night. And, hopefully Mike understands that I do not want the door left open again.
What are the odds that Becca's boyfriend, Ashley, would randomly run into Katie Friday at a bar in Chicago? Better question is what are the odds that he would actually talk to her long enough to learn that she was from Rochester and knows us? I'm assuming that once again the odds are extremely high. Also, what are the odds that Katie would've looked at renting my apartment (the first one with Kate) when she first moved to Chicago? I'd actually already heard this from Darcy (I think), but I don't think I knew Katie was to be her roommate. I suppose both of these instances just give more weight to the It's a small world after all phrase.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
You just don’t see that in New York
Luda was back in town this weekend from New York. Yesterday afternoon we decided to grab dinner and drinks at the Boundary, and since it was gorgeous out we obviously sat on the patio. Just as we began eating, two men walked in with their extremely large dog. It was taller than our table and made right for out tator tots (and why wouldn't he), and the owner seemed to struggle a little to hold him back. My first thought was that it looked like a damn wolf, but this was quickly dismissed because no one has wolves in the city and they certainly wouldn't bring them to a bar full of people if they did.
After awhile some random girl bent down to pet him. What caught my attention was her saying "oh look, the little wolfy has some bacon." Wolfy? What do you mean wolfy? Does she think he looks like a wolf since he is really too large for a Sheppard or does she know something I don't? I decided to clear things up and just ask the owner.
"So that's a German Sheppard right?"
"It's 25% Sheppard."
"O, what's the other 75%?"
"Wolf." Wow, that really clears it up.
Our conversation was cut short because the "dog" jumped up to chase after some poor random man on the sidewalk. The look on my face must have been priceless though, and the friend informed me that the dog was purchased for $1,000 from a local breeder. While I've never looked into purchasing a dog or wolf, this actually seems like a fairly reasonable price.
All in all, the wolf was actually pretty well behaved, especially considering it should be a wild animal. The only real problem was that for some reason unbeknownst to me the owner refused to hold its leash, so it would try to chase people/dogs from time to time.
Shortly after the wolf discovery, I witnessed money falling from the sky. Literally. So I kept an eye out, and the second time it happened I saw three people throwing money out of their second story apartment window. Kristie's theory was that these people had a lengthy debate about what people would do if they saw money falling from the sky and so they decided to "make it rain." I believe they used singles, so no huge monetary investment was made in this little experiment. I have to admit, I was a little jealous that I hadn't come up with the idea and that I only live on the first floor so I won't be able to recreate it.
Side note: I have a new favorite summer drink thanks to our fabulous waiter – the John Daly, which is an Arnold Palmer with alcohol. Kristie's smoking buddy informed her that it is named after a drunk golfer. You should really check it out.
Monday, May 04, 2009
The Cubs Shirt
Obviously people wear sports memorabilia to show support and allegiance for their favorite team. While I think this is a worthy and valid reason for wearing sports clothing, I think there is another equally valid, if not more important reason. Or, at least when it comes to the Cubs…
For anyone who has never been to a Cubs game, you might not truly appreciate the thoughts behind this, but let me try to give a little back-story. Collectively, Cubs fans are probably the most obnoxiously drunk group of people I've ever seen. It's almost as if we've all just accepted that you're allowed to get completely wasted when you go there. It's definitely not that way at a Sox game, and I don't really remember it being that way in St. Louis. Maybe it's partly due to Chicago's weather, or maybe it's due the Cubs longstanding history of letting their fans down. Whatever the case may be, Cubs games are a ton of fun – I just wouldn't recommend sitting in the bleachers if you're not in a drinking mood.
This weekend we went to the game with Baker's dad's season tickets (which are fabulous by the way). I spent a good portion of my morning rehashing Saturday afternoon's events via email. Upon recounting one part, I explained that the person I was talking to was probably made sense of my response, simply by noting that I was wearing a Cubs shirt. And, now that I think about it, I think Hillary and I have used that excuse before while sitting at Taco Bell wasted at 5 in the afternoon – it's fine, we're wearing a Cubs shirt!
So, note to reader, if you're ever going to a sporting event where you plan to get wasted, help your fellow citizens out and wear a jersey so at least we can sort of explain the ridiculousness away. I suppose that is another good reason as to why bar crawls should make special shirts.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Little Drummer Boy
Hill, Becca and I saw this Dad and son duo on New Years Weekend. The little boy is so cute and quite good! I figure the dad has another good 5 years or so out of this "act."
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Neighbors take to the street: Chicago wasn't patching potholes, so West Sider's became a DIY road crew -- chicagotribune.com
And the city is concerned with KFC fixing them...
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
First pot pies, now potholes
But what do I know...
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Squatter's Rights Rule
Just before Christmas the weather was so bad that I couldn't get my car out for days and I questioned whether I would even be able to get it out to go home for the Holidays. I eventually did get it out thanks to some shoveling and the help of Ashley, my post man, a random bumb (not kidding), and another kind stranger.
Last Fri/Sat it snowed about a foot, with more predicted this week. And the temp was expected to drop drastically, meaning it would all turn to a 16 inch block of ice. So, Becca and I decided to shovel our spots. We shoveled for about an hour or so and managed to get both of our spots fairly clean, plus the ones in front of us.
At this point we decided to make a Target trip, however I was very hesitant to give up my newly cleaned spot. Mike came outside about this time and assured me that common courtesy in Chicago winters is to respect someone's clean spot, especially on a friendly street like ours.
Just to be sure though, I decided to mark the spot with a chair (there was a whole parking spot in front of me that was fairly cleared off from me as well). I've seen tons of people do this by Nikki's house and it always seemed to work there, so why not here. And, for the record, I would never do this for an extended period of time, nor if I lived in a place where parking was scarce. As it is, my street is zoned 24/7 so it's really not that bad.
The Target trip was quite successful, since we both made it out for less than $50. The whole way home we contemplated whether my chair would still be there. Becca was skeptical, but I was confident that it would be, especially since there was an open spot in front of me.
But, I was wrong. This little blue Kia had parked in my spot. There were plenty of open spots on our street (including the one in front of my spot) but they still decided to park in my spot. They left a little note to clarify though - "Chairs in the street are illegal!"
Alright, so maybe it is illegal, but I'm not really sure that it is. Plus, who the hell cares. Half of the things people do in this city are illegal, particularly drivers. So, let's ad this one to the list. Either way, I was pissed. Correction, we were pissed. I think I would have been fine with it, almost expected it, except the person was simply being an ass trying to prove a point - 1. the spot in front was left empty and 2. they left the note. Also, I was pissed because they clearly didn't even live here since they had a visitor parking pass in their window.
Now, I have always been a firm believer in good karma. But, I have also been a firm believer in what is just, however different my version of just is from the next person. This time proving a point outweighed any fear of attracting bad karma.
Becca suggested we put snow on this person's car. I took it a step further and suggested we simply clear my new spot by putting all the snow on their car. And, that's just what we did.
After 15 min or so, spot #2 was completely clean. After a little thought, I decided it was best to move my car from that spot, lest I receive any retributions for our actions. A half hour or so later, Becca got curious and decided to see if the car was still there...
Turns out it was Paul's car!
Who is Paul?
Paul is the neighbor who lives below us and takes care of everything. He shovels our walk and fixes everything anytime we have a problem. And, he offered to pull my car out when it was stuck before Christmas. And, I'm sure he already shoveled out at least one spot that day. And, that was his rental car because he totaled his truck last week on the ice.
So, I guess there's karma for you. Now I feel terrible.
O well, there's not a whole lot we can do, other than fess up that it was us if he brings it up. Becca thought maybe we should just go tell him it was us, but I'm sort of against that idea since the only reason we would know that is if we were secretly watching the car afterward - and if that was the case, we really should've went out at that point in time. Plus, really we didn't hurt anything - after all, it was just a little snow on a car.
I guess the lesson here is don't retaliate when people do stuff to you. And, don't try to hold your spot, even though everyone else does.
Friday, December 05, 2008
falling prices and my cabbie union
I can’t quite believe my own eyes – the gas station near me is actually under $2. Who would have ever thought!
Speaking of gas prices lowering…
Sunday night I went out w/ Jeana and Guti to watch the Bears game. Even though I had work in the morning, I decided to stay out till about 12:30 or so. In an effort to be safe (and save time) I grabbed a cab home.
Now, anyone who knows me knows that I have numerous, numerous cab stories. I just can’t help myself from talking to them when I’m alone in the car – they always have such great stories. On this night, the cab drive actually initiated the conversation. He was concerned with whether I had to wait a long time for a cab. Reason being, apparently the cabs had decided to go on another strike.
This was news to me. I hadn't heard about the strike - I guess I'd been out of town for the Holidays, and I had no problem getting a cab that night. So, I asked him what it was about "this" time.
Higher fares.
A yes, I'd heard about how you guys were mad about the gas surcharge being dropped.
Well yes, it simply isn't fair. We don't make enough to make ends meet.
Ah, but that is truly a problem of fare price, not a gas surcharge - you can't very well expect people to pay a gas surcharge when the price has fallen over $2.50 in the last 2 months.
But we don't make enough money.
O, I don't doubt that. But, you see sir, that is where you guys made your mistake. You never should have asked for surcharge based on gas hardships, you should have asked for increased rates.
True, true.
And, actually, the real root of your problem is that you have no unity. I mean, take you for example, why are you even working tonight. If you guys are going to have a strike, you need to have a strike. People would stop and listen if they had no cabs for a week straight. Hell, it would probably only take a day, or one weekend.
But that is difficult. One company says strike and another doesn't. So, if you strike you're losing money.
Well, then you need a union. Why don't you guys have a union?
I know! That is what I've been saying!
Well, doesn't NY and LA have taxi cab unions? Besides, Chicago is a city that's known for their unions. You guys definitely need to get a union.
But how would you get a union. It's just not that simple.
Sure it is. All you need is one person to rally behind. One person that everyone can relate to and that everyone feels they can trust. (I think I was drawing inspiration at this point from one of my favorite childhood movies, Newsies - and I can't believe I just admitted that)
Hmm. That is a good point, but who would you get to do that.
Well, what about you. You are a capable man. I think you could lead a union just fine. O, this is my stop now, I need to get going.
So, what do you do for a living, you seem to know a lot about this.
O, not really. I do marketing.
Marketing, so then you do know a lot about this sort of thing. (and he was being serious)
O sure, I know a lot about PR and how you guys can appeal to the public. (I know a lot of things when I've been drinking...)
So, what about you? Why don't you help lead our union? Do you have a card or something that I could contact you?
Of course I do! Here is my business card (I have been waiting 2 years for a reason to use these!). Feel free to call or email me any time.
And that my friends, is how I intend to solve the world's problems - one issue, one man at a time. Give me a couple of drinks, and I have answers for everything, especially if I have been under the influence of J May for several days (remind me to tell you about how I pretended to be an undercover cop). One day though, the Chicago cabs will have a union and I will be able to look back on this memory with a faint sense of pride.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Lower, Lower Wacker
I called Luda tonight during our respective commutes (her walking, me driving). She was just finishing up telling me how she was going to go pick up her laundry tonight because she now pays to have it done for her up in Wrigley because it's 40 cents cheaper per pound up there (it may seem ridiculous to pay someone to do your laundry for you, but I've highly considered it in some of my past apartments). Anyways, she gets to her car only to find it's not there. Clearly, her first thought is that someone stole it. Mine is that no one would bother to steal The Neon and that it's been towed. She says that's not possible because there are no signs. 15 minutes later she calls to ask for a ride to the impound lot - she swears it will only take 10 minutes.
When she gets in the car I ask her ot read through her mapquest directions because I have learned all to well from my past that you should never blindly trust mapquest. The end destination is 440 E. Lower Wacker. Piece of cake I say, although I don't recall seeing a tow place anywhere down there.
We head down lower wacker, past 200 E, past 300 E, (reading every sign along the way) and then pass right onto Lakeshore. Huh, that's weird. There is nothing past 300.
So we try it again (going slower) assuming we must have missed it. Nope, there really isn't anything over 330 and anything other than parking garages or hotel entrances. (I knew I hadn't seen any down there)
Now we resort to calling the tow place. Their first question to us is where are we. Lower wacker heading west. Well, you need to head east. Obviously, but we still didn't see it. Well, what level were you on. Lower Wacker! but, which level. Which level? Yes there are 3. Three? There are three levels? Yes, there are three levels of Wacker - 2 are lower wacker and we are on the bottom. Huh, well, I guess we're only on the middle then.
I wish I could say that their directions helped. Unfortunately it took 4o more minutes, 2 more phone calls, one police inquiry, reading a map (thanks mom for putting it in the glove box), and me blindly turning down a truck route until we found it.
There really are 3 levels to Wacker. And, there really is a tow company down there. And, I guess this city really does have an enitre underground network - I found the bus lane last week fascinating.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
The Newbie Cab Driver
Nevertheless, my directional skills came in quite handy this weekend. Friday night I went costume shopping with Jeana up on Belmont. After several hours it began raining really hard, but we managed to snag a cab for our ride home. Jeana hopped in and told the cab drive to head to Western and St. Charles - when he seemed confused she switched it to Western and Fullerton.
A little background - Western and Fullerton are two of the largest and most well-known streets in the entire city, or at least in North or West Chicago, and anyone who has lived there for at least 6 months knows where they are (I mean Becca even knows). He still seemed confused. So, I asked him if he needed help, to which he responded yes. The funny part is that even though I gave him directions, he was having trouble following them, so we had to keep making adjustments. It seemed like the three ways were throwing him off, so I asked him if he was new to the city.
While not new to Chicago, he was a new cab driver. He'd been on the job about a week and spent most of his time in the Loop. And, his house was way up north by Loyola.
On the way to my house from Jeana's, I had him make a left turn onto North at the Milwakee/Damen intersection. Again, he was extremely nervous and then feared he would get a ticket for being in the intersection as the light turned red. I assured him that he was in the right because it's legal to sit in the intersection when turning left and that he wouldn't get a ticket.
Once we arrived at my house, he accidentally deleted the fair charge before he had asked me for the money. Being a firm believer in good karma (and because I felt a little sorry for him), I just paid him what we gave the cabbie on our way up to Belmont. He thanked me for the fair... and then asked for directions back to Western (which apparently he was now ok with). At this point I was struggling not to laugh, but I gave him the directions and ran inside.
So to all those naysayers, I know one cab driver (actually this makes 3 now) who was very grateful that I was able to give directions. Jeana actually thought he should've given me money for learning some shortcuts.
Side note: he watched to make sure I made it in safe, which is something I appreciate from them but that few seem to do anymore - maybe this is because I seem a little more wise than when I moved here 3 years ago, or maybe many just don't care.
Another side note: I can't believe Chicago has passed LA and NY to become the murder capital this year. And, I can't believe Jennifer Hudson's family was shot and that her nephew is still missing - the fact that he's missing makes me think it could be for money, but who knows. Hopefully, he will be returned safely.
Friday, April 04, 2008
Flying Fruit
Obviously I hate driving to work - I bitch about it almost every chance I get. Well, today I decided to do a little more than bitching.
I threw fruit and passing cars. A banana to be exact.
You see, there is a particular section of the Kennedy where there is an on ramp on the left hand side. Normally, this wouldn't be an issue, but when traffic isn't moving, some asshole will get the bright idea to pass in it in an effort to save a few minutes. And, once one guy does it, 20 more follow right behind. And, the thing is, everybody knows that it's an on ramp and not a new lane - we all drive that road everyday.
So, I just wanted people to recognize that everyone knows that they know it's an on ramp. I'd already eaten most of the banana, so I only hit 2 cars with it (although the peel did land in a guys' truck bed). In reality, it would've been quicker if I had just switched lanes, but it was the principle of it.
The real upside of all of this is that my boss sat down and signed my telecommuting form promptly after I told her the story. I think she was worried I might end up getting shot or something...
Sunday, February 10, 2008
A little winter bitching
On other news, I've started playing Guitar Hero and have fallen in love. If I had money, I would totally go buy a system just to play it. This new found love has also caused me to start listening to rock a little bit more again. I forgot how much I used to like Rage.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Lovely Monday
Picture this… it’s early on a cold, dreary Monday morning and you’re grudgingly making your way to work.
From a distance, you see an orangish piece of paper on your windshield. You think to yourself, “O hell no, I did not get another ticket – if those @sswholes gave me another ticket…” But as you walk closer you realize it is not a ticket and must be some flyer. Then you realize that there are no other cars around you with “flyers” and the mind begins to quickly ponder other possibilities, none of which are very good.
And then you notice something else on your windshield next to it, but you’re not quite sure what.
Thankfully, the perpetrator left a lovely note explaining...

I honestly think I stood there for a good 5 minutes trying to grasp the whole situation and then I just started laughing. I mean, what else can you do really. I do feel sorry for my poor car though - she really has been through a lot.
So, if you start to feel like you’re having a shitty week, just picture me literally wiping shit off my car on a Monday morning. Again, my life might as well be a Seinfeld episode.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Coming to a close...
I can’t believe the summer is truly almost over. It sucks that you spend 9 months of the year waiting for summer and then it flies by with random trips and obligations. At least I took advantage of the nice weather last weekend by going to the beach several days. I also managed to drink a ton. In fact, I think that I drank more last week/weekend than I had in the past 2 months combined. The whole weekend was fun and I managed to visit quite a few new bars and restaurants.
My recommendations:
- Don't waste your time at Dicks Last Resort. Decent atmosphere (if you like people throwing wet napkins/food and 300 Iowa fans) but the food was pretty crappy and overpriced.
- Tonic room, believe them when they tell you they have a minimum credit card order. I managed to get in a fight w/ 2 different workers.
- When a waiter actually warns you about some food being cooked in its own fat, don't order it. With that being said, the Mexican restaurant on Halsted & Wrightwood is too expensive and doesn't carry plain tacos - we almost left for La Bambas
- Funky Buddha - much to my surprise, not too bad. But, this was probably helped by the fact that I managed to get the bouncer to cut our cover in half and some nice boys from TN bought half our drinks.
- I highly recommend the Kit Kat Lounge - one of the funnier things I've seen in awhile. They have half priced martinis (which were damn good) and drag queens dancing, and it was still quiet enough most of the time to have an actual conversation. The dancer Sunday wore very revealing clothes and I'm still not sure how it was a guy. Only regret is that I didn't have a camera with me.
Friday, August 24, 2007
BP backed down
On other news, in case anyone is wondering, it is still freaking raining here. Seriously, this is annoying. It's supposed to storm really bad again this afternoon - hope my flight isn't cancelled.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Side note: I'm soooo glad the never ending rain is over and that it finally seems to be beach weather. Do you think I can finally put away my sweaters??
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Chicago Postal System
It snowed here yet again today. And by "again," I mean for the 5th day in a row. However, today was not the flurries we've been seeing. It snowed from 6am until 2pm straight and O'Hare got a record 3 inches. In the course of my move I had decided to pack all of my winter clothes separately in a big tub for storage. Thankfully I was too lazy to move them anywhere and had left them in my car; otherwise I'm not sure what I would be wearing right now.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
The Tribune Center is getting a new owner, and this new owner might sell the Cubs at the end of the year, which is probably a smart financial move. And, he might sell Wrigley Field separate from the team. Also, the Cubs have plans to build some huge new restaurant and parking garage next to the stadium (which I personally don't like the sound of in the middle of Wrigleyville but whatever) but they have to hold off now until the team is bought and the new owner approves. It’s kind of sad to think that the Cubs might not be owned by the Tribune center or play in Wrigleyfield, but who can blame this guy with their losing record. Perhaps this will give the team a little motivation to win once in awhile.
On other news, a coyote walked into a Quiznos in the Loop yesterday. Bizarre.
Also, that waitress who was beaten by the cop several months ago was recently beaten by his brother for reporting the original incident. What a sad world.
Clearly I watched WGN this morning. The antenna was a smart idea (thanks Leticia). However, my candles & air freshener are not strong enough. I'm beginning to think nothing will be...
Speaking of missing Chicago, it's day 6 and I already miss the city. I really don't like the suburbs and I don't understand how everyone lives out here contently with no real desire to move in. Actually, I think it's really more of a matter of not liking driving everywhere. However, I do love finding parking right in front of my apartment.
