Only My Holiday...

My last trip home to Springfield went incredibly smoothly and I made both trips in 3 hours and 10 minutes. I should’ve known that streak couldn’t last.

The plan for Thanksgiving was for Becca to head home after her early dismissal to pick up the babies, and then to head over to my work around 3:30/4:00. Unfortunately the plan started off poorly thanks to the rain and some random road closures so Becca didn’t even make it home until 4. Nevertheless we packed up the babies and all are stuff and made our way home.

The first 20 minutes or so were rather peaceful. But, then little Ares became restless and started whining, which continued for the next 45 minutes. Becca thought he was lonely in the back seat so she put Roxie in the back and let him sit on her lap instead. This still didn't really calm him down, and he continued to whine and fuss in the front seat. To make matters worse, little Roxie had become fed up with Ares's antics and began barking to express her frustration.

So here I am driving 2 mph in the rain with one whining dog and one barking dog. I threatened to pull the car over (and in hindsight I wish I had).

All of a sudden Ares launched into the backseat, choking Becca in the process with her seat belt. So now Roxie is barking even more ferociously at Ares who has landed on top of her and Becca is now cussing at her annoyance and frustration at the whole thing. And, I am simply trying to concentrate on driving. Now Ares has managed to climb up into the back windshield and is trying to get out. The next thing I know Becca is screaming, "did you shit! did you shit!" and then I smell the most foul thing I think I have ever smelled. Apparently the smell also startled the dogs because Roxie immediately jumped in her cage, followed 2 seconds later by Ares. How those two dogs (who really don't care for each other) managed to squeeze into Roxie's tiny little cage I'll never know.

So now I find myself driving in the rain with the windows completely down, struggling to keep myself from vomiting while Becca yells at me to pull over. And while getting out of the car sounded very appealing at this exact moment, my fear of being hit on the side of the road during rush hour was still much greater, so I proceeded to drive the 2 miles to the next exact, which seemed to take an eternity.

Eventually though we do make it to a gas station and we all burst out of the car gasping for are.  I tie little Roxie up and then go look for something to clean the car, meanwhile Becca walks Ares who craps 3 more times.

Cleaning supplies were limited but I managed to find a $6 can of Lysol spray and $4 roll of paper towels.  As I'm checking out, the cashier asks,  "will that be all?"  I say, "actually, no, that isn't all... I really need to borrow one of your cleaning bottles you have over there... we sort of had a mishap."  He let me borrow them with the promise that I would return them.

Amazingly enough, Ares managaed to miss all of the random stuff we had in the backseat (like my clothes) and made the bulk of his accident on his bed and Becca's leather backseat.  So, she was actually able to get it  clean.  I had to make one more request from the gas station employee and that was for some garbage bags to wrap up Ares's bed in.  The employee dropped what he was doing and left the place unattended for a couple of minutes to grab me some bags from in back - and he still hadn't asked what happened.

While this whole incident was pretty bad, it could have been worse.  As we're cleaning up this big van rolls into the gas station with a completely flat tire, followed closely by a squad car.  When the driver gets out, the cop immediately asks if he has a drivers license.  The hispanic drivers shakes his head no, to which the cop promptly asks if he has citizenship.  Again, the poor driver shakes his head no.  "Oooh, so that's why you didn't stop and kept driving on your rim, you didn't want to meet ME!"  I'm not sure what ended up happening here.  I saw the driver later inside the store and the cop left, so maybe he wrote him a ticket.  Or, maybe the cop decided to spread some Holiday cheer and let the guy go.  Eitherway, I think his evening was probably quite a bit worse than ours.

Anyways, the rest of our trip went pretty smoothly (except the fact that it took us a full 5 hours). We stopped 2 more times to let the dogs go to the bathroom.  Ares went both times and we eventually learned that he apparently ate a whole box of kleenexes at some point that day.


Moral of the story, if your dog is incessantly whining in a car, pull over just in case.

The World According to Americans

The Untouchables

On Saturday a group of us decided to play tourist for the day and went on a Gangster Tour. The tour was pretty cool, but it was kind of hard to stay focused on the story since you were often looking at buildings that no longer existed. With that being said, there were some memorable highlights.

The bus driver asked us all if we wanted insurance when we got on in case anything bad were to happen. We had an odd number of people so Becca, Hill and I all squeezed into one seat. When the bus driver spotted this, Becca told him not to worry about it because we had bought the insurance.

A good portion of the trip was spent driving around Chicago from one location to another. At one point, they decided to play some Italian opera music to fill the void. And, the tour guide decided to dance up and down the aisle singing and playing a Barbi tambourine. We tried to get Becca to dance with him, but she didn't get up quickly enough.

As we're rolling through Lincoln Park after touring the St. Valentine's Day massacre, I happen to spot Kristie on the side of the street! So we all waved until we caught her attention, and then she started jumping up and down with excitement. The whole thought of someone walking out of a bar and spotting 5 of their friends randomly on a black school bus was absolutely hysterical. Hillary and I were laughing so hard we were crying. Needless to say, this was by far my favorite part of the day.

Sidenote: I really hope that my boss asks me tomorrow what I did this weekend. He already thinks I'm random as hell, and I think this will just be the icing on the cake.

P-Mates: for Women who like to Pee like Men

*Warning - what you are about to see is a quite disturbing*

Pmates give women the freedom to discreetly pee standing up

Have you ever found yourself in a dirty, unhygienic port-a-potty?Have you ever had a full bladder with no bathroom in sight?Have you ever been afraid to pull down your pants to squat and pee and risk being seen or peeing on your shoes? Then the P-Mate is for you!

The P-Mate is basically like a cardboard shoe with the toe cut off. You place the entrance of the 'shoe' directly under your urethra, between your legs, pee into the shoe and then make sure that the hole at the toe end is funneling the urine out somewhere other than on your feet.

A few of my favorite marketing points:

• The P-Mate is the most amazing female urinary device.
• The P-Mate gives women the freedom to pee like men.
• The P-Mate is covered with a 4-leaf clover design as it is good luck to have one with you when you are in need.
• The P-Mate does NOT get all wet and soggy after use. You can easily slip it back into a pocket or bag for later disposal if you are outdoors where there is no garbage can.
• It can fold up and fit into your pocket or purse.
• The P-Mate is handy to use inside an unsanitary port-a-potty. The P-Mate is very practical when traveling by car or boat.

Sadly enough this appears to be a real product and is sold in various outlets across Canada (surprise). I really can't even comment on this...

For the record, I found out about this through Neotorama. Umm... I just read some of the comments on this blog are even more disturbing...

Canoe Pics

De--Licious!! Cake Frosting Babies

These absolutely adorable babies are actually made out of icing, that's right icing. Have you ever said, "They look so cute I could just eat 'em up!" Well, now you CAN!! Whoever makes these babies is very talented. I am amazed!!
This is the one I want on my baby shower cake, but I better get pregnant fast before everybody else hears about this and gets the same cake. Pretty soon everybody will be saying, "Hey, Joan, can you cut me off part of that baby's head in the corner? Not the whole thing, please, I'm kinda full.


MMM MMMM!

Go Green

 

Crew at Cubby Bear watching the band

 

The River--- yes, I look like crap, and I'm sure Nikki will love I posted this one

Graduation

 

I don't feel like writing this right now b/c I wrote a really long post yesterday, but the damn thing deleted it. I'll write more later. 

Pub Crawl

For one of my last nights as a student, we decided to plan a pub crawl in Old Town and Downtown. Andrew and I chose a total of eight bars, ranging from pubs to lounges to clubs. Even though I was excited for this all week, by the time Thursday afternoon rolled around I really wasn't in the mood to party. It honestly had been quite a long week and I was just tired from everything. Plus, it was freezing out- as in 6 degrees or something. Nevertheless, we put our game faces on and headed out. However, we made a rather sad showing. Jen and I didn't make it out until the time for our second bar, but after 2 minutes inside it, we decided we would rather eat at the first bar where Caroline and Andrew were still at. So, we headed there and ended up skipping the next 2 bars because we were busy eating and not wanting to venture out. Around 9 I thought it was probably time for us to move onto the next, which happened to be Spoon. Of course we were about the only people here, so the bartenders decided to give all 25 of us free shots (someone pussed out on theirs though and I think Dahlberg volunteered to take the extras). Next we attempted to go to McFadden's to see Vanilla Ice, but the line was simply too long. My favorite quote of the night was by this black girl who pushed her way through the crowd saying "Daaamn girl, you'd think these people be waiting to see Justin Timberlake up in here." After that we headed to Elm Street liquors which was slightly ghetto but quite fun. Dancing and 40's were definitely involved. However, I don't think that everyone would agree with this statement because most of the Evanston kids bailed around 12 to go back to the Keg in Evanston, which is simply just lame, but whatever. I think I had more fun once the big group left anyways. We ended up dancing till the bar closed at 2.

Halloween Pics

 
 
 
  

The Great Wall

A few pics

Ko Phi Phi Island- where The Beach was filmed

Sean and I at the pool bar in our hotel (this would be from the same day where I decided to call everyone- can't wait for that phone bill)

Japanese sign pointing to a shrine we visited

The Cheater

My friend Nikki sent this to me last Friday. Apparently, this billboard is currently up at LaSalle and Ontario. I think I might have to go check this out this week. There is a Sports Authority there, so I'm thinking it might be real.

From the Taste

I just uploaded everything from my camera and ran across this fabulous one of bacca. Since I don't think I posted any from her birthday, I figured why not go ahead and embarrass her now.

Pictures from the Reception

Proud to Be Gay

Even though I started the weekend with a lot of plans, I didn't really end up doing a whole lot. Friday afternoon was cold and cloudy, so my beach plans had to be cancelled. I ended up also staying in that night because I felt like crap due to my allergies which have been extremely bad for the past month (I think I'm gonna go to the doctor this week for them). Saturday we woke up bright and early and headed to the beach with Hillary, where we stayed till about 4 or so. That night I had dinner with Caroline who was in town for a bachelorette party. On a side note, she is working for Miller this summer and it sounds like a constant party. Anyways, later on Kate and I went to Doug's house warming party. I ran into Josh there and he said all of three words to me, so I'm guessing we're not "talking" to each other anymore. Whatever... I've decided that all guys are asses (except of course the few who read this). I just don't understand them. But, I digress. Doug's apartment was nice and his roommates seemed cool. It seems like this will all work out nicely for him.

Today was the annual gay pride parade. And, since I essentially live in Boystown, I of course decided to witness it first hand. It was definitely an experience, although it didn't quite live up to the hype that Nikki and Trisha had given it (they have fabulous stories from last year), but this is probably due to the weather. I was also really hoping I would happen to run into my uncle there, but I guess he went home for the weekend or something. On another sidenote: this man lives in a suburb and has yet to take me to dinner or anything, and I'm sure he's in my neighborhood at least once in awhile. All in all, the parade was crazy. Lots of half-naked people doing a lot of screaming. The Gay Games are also being held here this summer, so I can't wait to see what they entail.

Quote of the Day: "eh... Last night was alright. It was honestly just too touristy. You know, all the damn people from the suburbs came in and then all the little people from places like Peoria traveled up because they felt like it was their one big chance to be gay. Kind of took all the fun -out of it for me." -Andrew (a gay friend from school)

O, and I finally got my question answered as to what Steamworks really is. Andrew was highly amused with the question, but it sounded like his other girlfriends had also recently asked the question.

Cinco de Mayo

This weekend was a ton of fun, and it of course involved parties. You know, I bitch about being busy all the time, but it’s honestly only b/c any free time I have I use to go out. So, I’m either studying or partying, but I guess at least I’m studying.

Anyways, I ended up staying in Evanston all day Friday to work on projects, so I decided to head to a friend’s Cinco de Mayo party around 5 since I was still in town. I really had no intentions of staying there long, but thanks to some mystery punch, I was there till 9. Everyone was so damn drunk; it was kind of crazy. I think everyone did at least 2 tequila shots and we broke 3 piñatas. They weren’t sure if we would be able to do the piñatas, but my experience from our Fiesta party in undergrad proved invaluable. The first pic is of Alex (the gracious host for the evening) being spun around and the 2nd is of him collapsing on the ground after hitting it (probly due to be spun drunk). By the time I left (which again was only at 9), everyone was club dancing in the living room, in an apartment not much bigger than mine. A group of us then headed downtown, and I made everyone stop by my apartment so I could change since I was wearing a t-shirt and ball cap (my Cardinals hat to be specific). My night ended around 2:30, which made Saturday morning in Evanston very painful. I had a damn group meeting at 10, and I was crabby for most of it since I was so tired.

Cubs Game

Not having class on Wednesday's is fabulous. Yesterday was one of those days where I realize just how great it is to be back in school and how great it is to live in the city. A group of us decided to go to the Cubs game. Needless to say, much drinking was involved. If I had to guess, I would say Sean and I won the drunk award. I suppose this is really no surprise considering the two of us started at noon before anyone else had even gotten to the city and we made it out the longest (which I think was around 8 for me and 10 for Sean). And unfortunately Sean failed to make it to class today, but I can't really blame him since it was at 9. He informed me that day drinking to that extent may have to be eliminated, but I doubt he sticks to that since we're planning on buying many more tickets.

Mardi Gras

This weekend was great, even though I really don't have any crazy stories. I think the best part for me was honestly just getting away from school for a weekend and getting to hang out with old friends. Friday night began rather similarly to last year: Nikki and I arrived in St. Louis before Dow was off work, so we headed to the Blackthorn for awhile. After that we headed to Dow's apartment where we hung out for most of the night, since we all had intentions of keeping it a low key night. Eventually though, we got restless and headed back to the Thorn (there are definitely advantages to living on the same block as a bar). Even though the bar closed at one, I don't think we really went to bed until 4 or so. Melissa to say, I was exhausted and crabby Saturday morning. I couldn't drink for the first couple of hours, but around 11 or so everyone started getting drunk so I broke down and joined them. For the first several hours, I had high expectations of the day b/c it wasn't very crowded and our phones were still working. Plus, we kept running into a bunch of people we knew where we were standing. But, all this went by the wayside a few short hours later and Nikki and I broke last year's record by getting lost around 1:30. I knew we were in trouble when Dow told me "no matter what happens today, I just want you to know I love you" and then disappeared into the crowd. This was the last I saw of the boys until 5 at Whiteys. But, for once I was incredibly grateful for Sprint b/c Corey and my phone both managed to work. So, we eventually met the Carbondale crew in the Scheifflee tent. The tent idea was very smart b/c they were located next to a heater, there was a decent band, and there was easy access to beer & bathrooms. The most amusing thing out of this portion was when Corey began pointing and laughing at the "Naked Boy" from our last apartment on Willow (which was something we talked about for the entire year of living there). It was quite amusing & the boy turned completely red after his friends continued to rip on him for the whole event. After an hour or so, Nikki and I again attempted to find the guys who were then on their way out of the Soulard area. We attempted to meet them at Jack N the Box, but by the time we got there, they were already gone, which may or may not be due to a fight that broke out due to them. Once we got there, some random people told us to jump on a bus but the bus drive wasn't sure if it would take us near Dow's. Never fear, a nice bum helped us out and told us to sit down and he would let us now when we got off. By this point in time, we were both tired of being lost and we started arguing and I think Nikki may have cried. But, a few minutest later we were safe and sound at White Castle. We then realized we hadn't eaten all day, so we headed over to KFC where we called the boys and insisted they pick us up. Creston came through and picked us up in his beamer. After that, we all took a nap. Doug barely slept and was anxious to go out. I considered this option, but then decided that if I went out, I was so tired and hungover that I was afraid I would get denied from the bars like last year. I'm never really able to pull off the whole napping and then going out thing. So, Nikki, Dow & I decided to stay in. But the rest of the boys went to Laclede's and apparently had a great time. Once they got home, me and Nik both wished we'd gone with them, but what can you do, we're lame I guess.

some not so great pics

Well, unfortunately all of the pictures we took skiing are pretty sad. I was too cold to try and take any. I guess having mom on the trip was usefull for something after all. O well, maybe next year. The 2nd pic would be much better if Becca didn't have horrible hat hair. I find it kind of funny.