In honor of the Olympics, Sam decided to recap some of our Vancouver trip.  Honestly, it was simply too long for me to bother with (I think she did it while at work though), but perhaps I'll try to write the second half of this this week...

It all makes sense...

So, me and my new friend go outside and begin chatting about the usual things. You know, where I’m from, what I do, yada, yada, yada. And then, being the good conversationalist that I am, I turned the conversation to him. “So, where are you from? Here?”

“Well, originally I’m from here, but right now I’m living in Surrey. But I still work here some."

“O, really, where do you work?”

“Well, NOW, I’m a chef around here.” Something about the way he said NOW really had me curious. “so, what did you do before?”

“Before? Before I used to sling rock, strapped with an M16, right here on these streets."

“O, you used to sling rock… did you say with an M16?”

“Yeah, I used to sling rock with an M16. These streets are rough around here. It’s a rough life dealing.”  Jesus, where are we right now? Is it even safe for me to be standing outside this bar right now? Am I going to get shot? (Side note: Just to clarify, this guy had a sexy, almost Irish accent, so I still wasn’t completely turned off by this.)

“But, you don’t sell anymore though, right?

“No, no. That was actually why I moved to Surrey. I just had to get out of here, you know. I don’t even know how I ended up in that situation. I think it was the money originally, but then you just kind of get caught up in the life you know.”

“Yes, I could see how that would happen. I’m glad that you don’t do it anymore though.”

“Yeah – I just found myself spiraling downward. And, I guess I didn’t even realize it until I hit rock bottom – I was nearly shot to death.”

“O, my God, that’s terrible! Well, I’m really glad you’re not doing that anymore. So, you’re a chef now? How do you like that?”

“O, I like it. Really, I’m just trying to save enough money to get away from it all. I want to travel – to see the world."


“I looove travelling – I think it’s probably the one thing I love most.”

“Where else have you travelled?”

“O, all over. I’ve been to Europe, Asia, and Canada (smile).”

“Really? I haven’t been anywhere. What was your favorite place?”

“Thailand. It is hands down the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen.”

“Wow, that sounds awesome. “ there is a long pause “you should travel the world with me.”

“Now that would be awesome. In fact, that is my life goal. But, unfortunately I really don’t have the money for that.”

“You don’t need any money. I will pay for everything. I want you to come with me.”

“That definitely does sound appealing…”

“It’s settled then. In a year or so when I have enough money we’ll travel the world.”

“It’s too bad I don’t live here.”

“Where do you live again?”

“Chicago. It’s a great city.”

“Well that could be nice for awhile… hmm… I wonder how I’ll find you.” (In my head I’m thinking phones are the obvious answer.) “I guess if it’s mean to be, it will be.”

Or that, “Yes, if it’s meant to be it will be.”

“O, and there’s always Face book! Are you on Facebook?”

Ah yes, the old Facebook, “yes, of course I’m on Facebook.”

“Well, it’s settled then. We’ll go to Thailand and travel the world as soon as I have enough money.”

“Perfect.”

And we then went our separate ways. Looking back, my first question is how on earth he would ever save enough money on a chef’s salary – but I suppose if I think about it I can answer my own question. I also love that Facebook was the answer to all our problems – even though I never gave him my name, or at least not my full name. With that being said, I wouldn’t have been overly surprised to find an new friend request waiting in my inbox for me when I got home, I mean it is me we’re talking about.

Seatte - Part 1

Day 1

The flight to Seattle was fairly uneventful, especially considering half of my office was on the flight. The only thing worth noting was how weird my boss acted around everyone at the airport. and that he and other director practically sprinted away from the group at the baggage claim (presumable to avoid sharing a cab with anyone). Fine by me – but the whole thing was made especially funny (and awkward for them) when I rolled into the same hotel like 4 minutes after them (everyone else was in another hotel).

Setup at the convention center was going surprisingly ahead of schedule. And, Sam had made friends with one of the union guys so he kept giving us the scoop on Vancouver and how to get there. He actually seemed kind of shocked that we were going to Vancouver for so long, and this attitude seemed to carry over for the rest of the trip. Nevertheless, he gave some good tips – only regret is that I didn’t ask him for details about their cafes because I’m sure he would’ve known.

As the day winded down another coworker, whom we never hang out with, rolls over and asks if he can hang out with us because he was trying to ditch his crew. Obviously we couldn’t say no, plus I figured this would be an excellent opportunity for gossip. How right I was – guy hung out with us the rest of the trip and provided plenty of new gossip and contributed to several new fun stories.

For dinner the three of us made our way to a little Mexican restaurant where we had fish tacos and plenty of Margaritas. Halfway through dinner Sam noticed our AV guy sitting at the bar. Naturally, I ordered a shot for him, and it was highly entertaining when he got it. So, Asa came and sat with us and told us story after story of fellow coworkers. It’s amazing how much dirt someone who works peripherally for a company for so many years can gather. And, Asa is a master impersonator and even used to stand-up, so the stories were that much better.


Day 2

Set-up continued to go really smoothly and we finished in record time. With several hours left in the afternoon, we went to Pike’s Went to Pike’s Market for the second time in an attempted to catch a picture of them throwing fish this time. No such luck.

Then when Sam decided to be lame and head back to the Convention Center (yes I said that) I sat in the park for a bit by myself and enjoyed some people watching. After a bit I began getting chilly so I decided to go somewhere and read for a bit. Although we had passed the first ever Starbucks, I opted for a more appropriate 4pm venue and headed to a local pub, Vons. On my second beer, I pondered whether it was sad that on day 2 I was sitting at a bar by myself – I decided that it wasn’t since I was doing something a little productive like reading.

That night we decided to have dinner at the famous Seattle Space Needle. It was really a full proof plan to gain a great dinner and a sightseeing activity out of ASPS in one fell swoop. Overall it was a fairly good experience but truly not worth the money (but thankfully it wasn’t my money) – LaSandra’s pork was undercooked and then the waiter spilled an entire glass of water on Sam. But at least we had an opportunity to get a bunch of great pictures for Flat Max (a cardboard cutout of Rhonda’s nephew that she has been carrying around for the last 2 weeks).


Day 3

Fairly uneventful day. We went to the PS2009 Welcome Reception that evening and took tons of random pictures throughout.



Day 4

After 3 long days and 2 full days of work, Lindsey and I were planning on having a low key dinner and movie night…

Or at least until one of our meeting planners, AWs, called Sam to see if she wanted four free tickets to a soccer game that night. Obviously I was game, and with little effort, I managed to talk Lindsey and Jerime into accompanying me.

After 10 minutes of the game, they both knew they'd made the right decision. And after 20 minutes we were all official Sounder fans - we even have a scarf (thank you ASPS for the souvenir).

The Sounders won in the last 6 minutes or so, so it was quite an exciting victory. Naturally, we had to go out and celebrate. This several fun stories, but none should really be shared here (sorry).


Possibly more to come but this is it for now because I wrote this weeks ago...


Day 5

Rhonda tried to set Sam up with the GES man who has been married for a year. When Sam informed her that the dude was married, RoRo replied with “so, what does that matter.”

I love how concerned Rhonda is over our love lives.



Day 6

At about 7 am I got a text from Hill saying that her flight was actually scheduled for 9pm and not 9 am. Not a pleasant wake-up call.

I found out that amongst the 300 other things I am allergic too, I am officially allergic to cardboard. Yes, cardboard. At the beginning of the trip I broke out so bad Judy had to give me like 6 Benedryl. I thought it was a fluke but it happened again today after only a half hour.

United Breaks Guitars Song 2

The World Wide Web

Listen to what I just found out - Virgin America now offers internet for all passengers on all flights (starting Memorial Day). I had heard before there was a plane doing this for over seas flights, but I wasn't sure which one. And, I'd heard that the problem with not having it was never with the technology, but rather with the actual internet and cell phone companies arguing over service issues and such. I can't remember who told me all of this, but I think it might have been a doctor during one of my chats at the bar during one of the last meetings. He also told me that our cell phones will work up there now, but that if you use them you will receive a huge, huge fine for the afore mentioned reason.

Now where did I hear the Virgin America news - Oprah of course. Her whole show today is skyping people in random places. My question here is how much money is Skype paying Oprah for all this product placement or is she just doing it free b/c she loves them now or something? And, I wonder if Virgin was free or if that was a product placement?

Sin City

I've been in Vegas for a full 24 hours now – three points I'd like to make so far.

1. Why on earth did we ever allow smoking everywhere? It's absolutely repulsive. (Sorry Dow) I don't think it's too much to ask people to step outside to smoke. And I get that Vegas is Vegas and people like to "let loose" but seriously. I'm pretty much trapped in a smoke filled building for three days straight, literally. I woke up this morning with the most blood shot eyes I think I've ever had, and 12 hours later they only feel worse. Funny part is that I probably looked worse this morning than any other meeting morning when I rolled downstairs after a late night of drinking and now sleep. I guess since I'm going to look the part anyways, I might as well go out tonight.
   
   
2. All of my products keep getting swiped. Ballparking it, I'd say I've lost close to $1000 worth of products so far. I've been to probably 10 or 15 meetings now and I've never seen anything get stolen. Of course Anne has always warned me about these "shady doctors" but I always just chalked that up to her paranoia and general skeptism of the world. I guess in reality I was just being naïve in thinking that wealthy plastic surgeons were above stealing a $19 book.
   
   
3. The disparity of wealth in this country truly is disturbing. And when I'm talking about wealth, I'm not talking about anyone that I know personally – no one that I know qualifies for this kind of wealth. I'm talking about the kind of person that wears a gold encrusted hat (of sorts) simply because they can. The kind of person that can drop $800 a night on a suite and not think twice. And more importantly, the kind of person that requires their fancy suite be located in an exclusive tower that has a separate registration, bar/restaurant, and high rolling slot machine room where the minimum bet is $100.
   
   Hey, I guess all of this is fine with me when I'm given a complimentary upgrade into these tower suites and some rich men offer to have drinks with me. Ok, so maybe I through that last part in for effect, but I still have 2 days so who knows.

May Gray, June Gloom

June Gloom (also May Gray) is a California term for a weather pattern that results in overcast skies with mild temperatures during the late spring and early summer. The condition is prevalent in many parts of the world where marine stratus or stratocumulus clouds are common, particularly off the western coasts of continents—especially off Peru, Namibia, Western Australia, and California. Such cloud systems are persistent year-round off the coast, yet in certain seasons they blow ashore and create the gloomy "May Gray" effect on land. The June Gloom phenomenon has also been known to occur during the early autumn in California.

Last week marked my first experience in California. Prior to going everyone I know assured me of just how much I would love CA – the weather, the people, and just the overall atmosphere. However, for me the theme seemed to be “did that just happen.”

The trip began by being delayed over an hour on the O’Hare tarmac when we were the next in line for takeoff. No biggie, more time to sleep. I arrived at the hotel with another coworker, Judy, and ran into my boss’s boss (we’ll call her Linda) in the hallway. Now let’s give a little back story on Linda – she’s a fairly shrewd person whom you should never really trust not to stab you in the back while your sleeping, but that I got along with all the same. And, Kristie and I always assumed her to be a drunk. Anywho, when we arrived at the hotel judy decides to hug L, which then forces L to give me one of those awkward and extremely uncomfortable hugs. O, and she and Carol (Kristie’s previous boss) had just had a bunch of injections done so her face was all swoll.

Moving right along, first afternoon of work was fine. That night we decided to be good employees and join our coworkers for dinner. This turned out to be pretty painful because Sam accidently invited my least favorite coworker. So, afterwards she decided repay me by buying me a drink at the hotel bar. After a bit Sam starts whispering that L is in the bar but not to look. Obviously I had to look, and I’m so glad that I did. L decides to take a lap around the bar holding on to her older boyfriend’s arm to keep from falling over. On her way back she spots Sam and gives us the old gunshot hello, and then asked what time we had to work in the morning. In my head, I was laughing hysterically and responding “don’t worry about it, we’re clearly no where near your condition and I’m sure we start later than you.” Classy.

The next night Sam and I decide to venture out into the Gas Lamp district after getting a little buzzed from the chardonnay we chugged at the Welcome Reception. The area was cute, but I found the people to be rude and condescending. The first restaurant we went to wouldn’t seat us on the pretense that their kitchen was too backed up. Ok, we’ll move on. The second restaurant/bar seated us, but not before they gave me the once over. Let me just state, that I was wearing a relatively cute outfit. Not slutty, but still decent. After $90 worth of drinks and appetizers here, we decided to head back to the hotel…

The Happy Song

Well this weekend marked me officially getting older. Little Becca graduated and I turned another year older. For those that couldn't be there, I'll share a few of the highlights.

• The towels - last Tuesday I finally reached my breaking point with the towels and decided to write Laurel a note asking her not to use them. Of course she called me several hours later (when she finally awoke) to deny any allegations. Obviously, her suggestions were ridiculous, but I figured drawing it to her attention would be enough to make it stop. L decides to bring up this whole conversation while we were out Thursday night. L suggested that my towels were getting bleached by residue left in the washer. Being that I was a little drunk, I told her this wasn't possible b/c nothing else gets bleached. Kristie jumps in at this point to "helpfully" inform me that towels are ore porous and therefore more likely to absorb bleach than my clothes would be. Obviously she was being sarcastic, but L missed this and thanked K for her helpful comment. I retored that no one uses bleach in the house. This kept the conversation going for another 5 minutes, and it was only ended when K solved the mystery by stating that "all of the towels must be from a faulty batch..." Whatever.
• The birthday celebrations ended with yet another night at El Presidente. However, this time we were joined by our cabbie. I know what you're thinking and this was not my idea; it was Jeanna's. It was, however, my idea to leave the restaurant after eating 5 bowls of salsa b/c our food was taking too long. I wonder if the workers there recognize us - we honestly have some ridiculous incident nearly every time we visit.
• My mom didn't bother to get directions to the hotel. She just assumed that it was on the main strip.
• Becca's graduation gown was huge, but it made her look like an angel. Also, the damn zipper broke 20 minutes before the ceremony (if you can call it a ceremony).
• They left off that Becca was graduating magna cum laude, which pissed her off to no end simply because she wanted some snobbish girl in her program to see that she did better than her. So, she marched around in her angel wings until convinced someone to read the honor with her name. Nice Becca, nice.
  
• When my grandmother showed up she informed me that her long time friend happened to be in the hotel room next to them and she was just certain that the "snobby girl" was her friends daughter. Never quite figured out if this was true or not.
  
• My job for the ceremony was to get Becca there in one piece (b/c we all know how frantic she can get) and to save seats for the rest of the family who do well enough to simply get there in one piece. Thankfully though, there was one young adult per old adult. (Side note: my Grandpa has pretty severe Alzheimer and seldom knows what is going on.) Anyway, I begin fidgeting in my seat shortly after everyone sits down. So, Grandpa turns to me and says "are you going to fidget the whole time?" I said, "well I might... these seats are simply too close together." He pauses for a moment and then says, "well, why didn't you get more seats - that was your one job today." Fair point Gramps. Fair point.
• Half way through the "ceremony" a baby starts crying. Gramps turns to me and says, "a baby is crying... and I don't blame him. Shortly there after he says "you know, I really like Chicago's better. They treat you like a king up there - giving you champagne and crackers." How in God's name this man remembered my NU graduation but can't remember my name, I'll never know.
• The family left shortly after lunch and then we took a long nap. For dinner we decided to go to some Japanese steakhouse, which was an excellent choice. The theme here was that they cooked the food right in front of you and your sat at a table with strangers. By the end of dinner, our fellow diners were no longer strangers. We were sharing beer suggestions and drinking stories. And then our waitress brought out 4 cakes and sang the "Happy Song" to everyone who was celebrating birthdays or graduations.
  

Downside of Traveling

Although I truly do love traveling, there are a couple of things that I've come to dislike. Flying is one of them. I hate the paranoia that I'm going to miss my flight. I hate the security check and trying to get all of my crap into the little tiny bins as quickly as possible so that the 500 people waiting behind me won't mutter curses at me. And then there is the actual flight where half the time I'm stuck in the middle seat, which is slowly but surely causing me to develop claustrophobia. Also, driving with Kristie everyday (who screams every time she sees break lights or a low-flying plane) is causing me to become more nervous about the plane actually crashing. I have never once bothered to pay attention to the safety instructions delivered at the beginning of the flight. This time, however, I paid close attention just in case the plane actually crashed and I was forced to push open the emergency exit and stay alive by using my seat as a floating device.

Also, I hate coming home and finding my things not quite as I left them. Yesterday I realized that my full gallon of milk was gone. This morning, my shower gel. Last time I traveled Laurel ate an entire bag of chips and dip and yet another towel was ruined. (And, I have yet to work up the balls to ask her about the towels and what exactly it is that she does to them, and to the wall.)

Think positive thoughts

Well, I’ve made it to Florida safe and sound, and my first solo work trip has officially begun. Although I haven’t had to work yet, I’m relieved quite a bit just to be here. I honestly was extremely nervous my flight was going to get cancelled and then I would have to figure out what to do from there. Thankfully, we made it out with only a minimal delay. But, this wasn’t my last delay. On the cab ride from Fort Meyers to Naples, my cab was rear ended while stopped at a red-light. Not surprisingly, the man who hit us couldn’t have been a day under ninety and drove a fat beamer. I honestly felt really bad for both my driver and the old man. O well, what can you do.

Hopefully tomorrow will go off w/o any hitches.

Halloween in MD

Sorry Becca, no Halloween pics - you know I no longer own a camera. Speaking of that, I guess it has been a full year since I've had a camera. Kind of surprising for me. With that being said, we did take a couple of pics on Kristie's camera, but she doesn't seem to know how to get them off.

With that being said, my Halloween night (or the Saturday before) was extremely interesting and random. The night began early at the Camden Yard work reception. Although this was not a costume party, there were plenty of outfits to look at thanks to all of the doctors' wives. Although the event was fairly amusing and provided free food and liquor, Ms. Luda and I decided to bail early in hopes of escaping our coworkers and having a night out on our own. More specifically, we had high hopes of avoiding Tijuana.

Let me take this time to give a little back story on Tijuana. Tijuana, aka Susan, is a middle aged, white-trash, alcoholic redneck. Think the perfect candidate for Jerry Springer. Now where does the name come in... several years ago the annual meeting was in San Diego and Susan and a friend stayed a couple days after to explore. I've been told by a first hand witness that good old Susan went down to Tijuana and smuggled drugs across the border. Pills to be more specific. Needless to say, everyone in the company warned Kristie and I against hanging out with her in Baltimore.

But, I digress.

Just as Kristie and I thought we had escaped, Tijuana strolls up behind us and asks where we're all going to kick it for the night. Luda being the people-pleaser that she is, decides to tell her that we're going to the Wharf Rat across from the convention center. Susan then tells us "great, I'll meet up with you guys in a few - i just need to run inside, shave my pits, and then take a hit - do you guys smoke?"

At the Wharf Rat we develop our plan for leaving her, which included asking the bartender where we should go next. After a drink or so, Tijuana storms in, pissed that K wasn't answering her phone. Obviously she didn't see it ;-) Anyway, the next 20 min proceed w/ K and I going to the bathroom to text each other on our next move while T proceeds to tell us scary/ridiculous stories. (side note: she is renting a room in her house to some guy for 3 days a week???) Once I finish my second drink the bartender goes to refill it and I tell him that I think I'm going to have to call it a night (it's 9pm), which causes T to get all huffy and start to cause a scene, which then causes the bartender to say "o, that's right, you're going to another bar." Somehow I manage to cover this up slightly by making up some ridiculous story that K backed up. Several lies later, the two of us were free and about to begin the rest of the night...

On our way back to the hotel from the Wharf Rat, we ran into some other coworkers (normal ones) who informed us that a group was gathering for drinks in one of the hotel bars. After little persuasion, we decided to join them. However, when we got to the bar, we were pretty much the only two there and the thought finally occurred to us that if word got back to Tijuana that we ditched her to meet up w/ the rest of our company, we would never hear the end of it. But, just as we were leaving half the company showed up. So, I decided that in order to not look like asses, a fake phone call to meet a friend (Jen Gold to be exact) was necessary.

Plan worked and we were on our way again.

At this point we decided to take the skywalk and stop in Kristie’s hotel before grabbing a cab. As we approached the hotel, another coworker yelled that we couldn’t get in there. So, we tired the door and found that it was indeed locked. But, my feet hurt and we didn’t feel like taking yet another detour, so we opted for sneaking in an open kitchen door. As we snuck in, I was sure some chef with a knife was going to chase us out, but we ran into no one. In fact, the whole restaurant was empty. This seemed a little odd, but nothing to perplexing. However, as we began walking down the immobile escalators, things started to definitely seem wrong. When I saw the flashing fire engines, I knew we had made a mistake. As we neared the bottom, several of the wait and hotel staff stood there shaking their heads at us. Of course they asked where we were coming from, to which K replied our rooms, to which they said the place had been evacuated for a half hour. Oops. O well, they ushered us to safety and offered us nice white sheets.

After Kristie was accosted by a doctor, we finally found a cab and made it to Federal Hill. We checked out several more bars here, but nothing too exciting to report. In general, I found the people of Baltimore to not be very exciting or nice. The only person that spoke to us was a boy from DC who spent a good 20 minutes trying to convince us to go back to DC w/ him that night (Leti - we actually considered this for a minute, but we changed our mind once his friend called us soccer moms). Our final bar of the night was a dive karaoke bar where we decided to sing “Sweet Home Chicago” to spite everyone for not talking to us. However, K chose the Frank Sinatra version rather than the Chicago version and I refused to sing about halfway through the song. The two of us sat down our mics and just walked out. Actually, K walked out w/o even grabbing her card and we had to come back and get it. At least it was only her card and she remembered it in the cab – much better than I did last year.


Who knew work trips could be so entertaining?

Raining in Baltimore

Lesson of the day: Take note of dimensions when you're looking at a blueprint. If a blueprint says that a kiosk is 42 3/4 inches wide, then a 60 inch plasma screen will not fit into it. Seriously now.

Well, the first day of Annual Meeting is over. Actually, my first day is over - the whole thing doesn't actually start until tomorrow. All in all, I guess today went fairly smoothly. I made my 6 am flight and checked into my hotel without any glitches. Most of the day at the convention center when fairly well also. However, around 2:30 the girl who designed everything left and things began to fall apart. Biggest problem was that I had no idea what had been ordered or where anything should really be going. And, secondly that my boss impressed the idea on everyone that bigger is better, and we had two TV's that were about 30 inches too large. O well, we managed to figure it out in the end.

So, it's raining here, and it sounds like it will be for the next 4 days or so. At least my hotel is nice.

Us Placers

Dear Baby Jesus… please bring us an armidilla for Jules to hit so that we may see what one looks like.

This statement pretty much sums up last weekend. For those that don’t know, a group of us decided to visit Julie at her current home in Van Buren, MO. For those that have never heard of Van Buren, don’t be alarmed; it literally consists of 10 canoe rental sites, 14 houses, and 20 trailers. Alright, I’m exaggerating slightly, but it is very southern and very outdoorsy – which inspired us to continue our annual summer adventures through a canoe trip.

Whenever we girls get together, we are basically a handful. I honesty don’t think the guys said more than two words (except when we grilled Mike about his job, house, car, future) – I guess we scared them.

Friday night was pretty mild. It primarily consisted of us trying to bounce each other off of blow-up mattresses while drinking MGD light (it’s honestly not that bad if you give it a shot). I know this all sounds bizarre, but it was highly amusing at the time – actually, the videos are still funny. While this was entertaining, I find the most interesting part of the night to be when we stopped at a gas station and realized that it was also an ice deli, a bar, a wood gift shop, and an air hockey venue. Btw, you really aren’t allowed to have open alcohol in MO; I can’t believe that collectively, everyone I know decided that was law.

Saturday we canoed 13 miles. Word to the wise, before you embark down a river in a canoe with no way out, clarify how many miles you are expected to go. Typically we do 7 or 8, not 13. But, we did 13 and we survived - just barely I think. I began the trip as Becca's partner and I have to say it was quite amusing watching her try to paddle; she couldn't quite get the hang of it. Eventually though, she figured it out and then Jess and I became the bad canoers. We became partners towards the end of the trip, which means we were fairly drunk, which means we tipped a lot. In fact, if it weren't for this random group of strangers on the river, I think we would've lost all of our stuff or died or both, somewhere around 1. They saved all of us numerous times, and it's actually kind of odd now that I think back on it. By the end of the trip, they officially knew we were the poor girls from Utah...

to be continued...

Daily Candy - Clean as a Whistle

I promise that I will write about the canoe trip, but I've been busy - sorry to the two people that care. Anyway, I found this interesting and useful based on Thursday's flight:


You like to keep it clean. You don’t want to make things complicated. And you hate getting worked up into a lather.

But when you need to, you want to do it easily.

Paper cleaning products may be the answer to your dirty travel needs. Soap, shampoo, shaving paper, and laundry detergent — all in nifty little packets of dissolving paper. (Think Listerine strips with suds.)

You wet your hands, rub the paper into them, and get to it. The sheets smell nice (but aren’t overpowering), lather well (but not excessively), weigh nothing, cost peanuts, and are carry-on approved. To say nothing for the travel problems they alleviate.

Like:
• Shampoo that inevitably explodes all over the bridesmaid dress.
• The prison sentence for smuggling too many ounces of product.
• Having to recycle undies on a long journey. (Ew.)
• Foreign bathrooms that haven’t dispensed hand soap since 1947.

All that, and they even work with seawater.

Now that’s pretty spot-on.


Available online at flight001.com. For more information, go to npw-usa.com.